CHAPTER 5

[faentasy]

CHAPTER 5

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Almost half of the non-fairy population of Aira Niluc is gone.

Some may be feeling the absence of their fellow participants in this story. Others will stay focused on the wish they want to get. What never changes is that the story goes on, bringing you closer to the end -- and to another chapter. What will it bring this time?

Snow!

Snow as far as the eye can see, a cold blanket covering the new area. Some winter amenities are now available, ready for perusal! But that's not all there's to find: everyone also will find reminders of their homes, of people they know, of happier times.

Of their wishes.

Who will try to reach their wish this time?

[[Welcome to Week 5! Feel free to make top levels at your discretion, and remember to note it in your header if you plan on investigating any locations. However, please try to keep investigations to Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday! You can also privately contact Hamelin at your leisure.

In addition, a reminder that any Murder Proposals for this week are due by Tuesday 3:00 PM EST/12:00 PM PST! However, please note that you have the option of submitting murder proposals for a later week as well.]]

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Comments

[ideismo]

[Alexei's response is immediate; he glances over slightly, though not for very long before looking away.]

Keep that desire with you. For as long as possible, make sure you keep it close.

There are multitudes that will grind you down and try to take that from you. If it's important enough to you, then you won't allow them to.

[incompletely]

[ Likewise, Tenn's response is immediate -- he nods firmly, and his expression turns more resolute. ]

Of course. That's what's kept me going, after all this time.

I won't let this place crush me.

[ideismo]

Good.

[He seems content enough with that, honestly.]

I'm doing what I can. I know I'm not the only one to hold this sentiment, but it's important that I leave this place alive.

[incompletely]

Of course. I'm sure all of us want that for ourselves.

[ ... ]

And I hope there's a way to save them, too.

[ideismo]

Likewise. All of them.

[As has been mentioned elsewhere... Yes, Zola can come too.]

That's one of the things that makes it difficult, sometimes. Wanting to save as many as possible. That has to include those you don't forgive.

There are some I haven't forgiven yet where I came from, and some that I never will forgive for what they've done. But that's something I'll have to confront when I return.

[incompletely]

All of them.

[ He repeats what Alexei says, both to let him know that it's what Tenn intends to do, and also as a way to convince himself that he needs to do this. Nobody's going to get left behind. ]

I can't say I've forgiven them yet...but I'm trying. [ He closes his eyes. ] I want to believe that they wouldn't have done the things they did under ordinary circumstances, because I know that's true for myself, too. We're in a bad situation that forces us to make difficult choices.

It was a lot easier for me to forgo forgiveness, back at home; but I'm finding that it's more important than I thought.

[ideismo]

Dire situations tend to do that, in my experience - they either teach you to forgive, or they ensure that you never will.

[He shrugs a little.]

For what it's worth, I wouldn't say that any blood that may be on your hands is the same as theirs.

[incompletely]

[ He looks up, at that. ]

What do you mean?

[ He doesn't know if he agrees with that right this second, but maybe Alexei will say something that'll change his mind yet again. ]

[ideismo]

[It gets a soft noise out of him, at any rate.]

You know guilt in a similar way to how I know guilt, I believe - in the situation with Moriarty, no matter what happened, someone was going to die because of you. Either because of something you did, or something you failed to do.

But there's a difference between a response to a situation and a decision to involve yourself in it. You haven't played the game by Hamelin's rules; you consciously choose not to, every week that we're here. I feel the choice is worth something.

[incompletely]

[ Someone was going to die because of you. Either because of something you did, or something you failed to do.

It hurts to hear it, but Alexei is right. Tenn's known this all along, and Alexei's just giving a voice to what Tenn's been coming to terms with over these past few days. There's a pained look in his eyes.

And then Alexei continues, and that look begins to ease up -- just a little. ]

...Thank you.

[ He sighs quietly. ]

I won't ask you about your wish, but mine really doesn't matter anymore. As sad as it is, it...helps. But I hope that's the choice you continue to make as well, Alexei-san.

[ideismo]

[It's painful to hear it and he knows it; it's something that he still hasn't come to terms with himself. He hardly expects Tenn to be at peace with it immediately.]

I don't know if I'd say that my own wish still matters or not. In the context of all of this, perhaps it doesn't; it would be an insult to all who have gone on before me to resort to wishes to accomplish it.

I appreciate that you won't press me about it, however; I won't ask about yours if you don't want me to.

[incompletely]

It's fine. I don't mind sharing mine, I have no reason to hide it anymore.

[ The reason should be fairly obvious. ]

I wanted to free Riku from his illness.

[ideismo]

...I see.

[i mean the reason why that's a fairly moot point now is sort of obvious, yes]

I'm sorry about what happened to him; I don't believe I've properly expressed that.

[incompletely]

[ RIPKU...... ]

I appreciate it. It's gotten easier to deal with, ever since I realized that he was one of the people sending us notes. And knowing that there's a chance we can save them helps, too.

I won't give up on them. Even C-ta.

[ideismo]

You're a better person than I am, I think. If you're willing to do that for C-ta.

[incompletely]

[ ... ]

Hearing Rika's story made me think back to what C-ta said he was going through. I'm never going to forgive him for the pain he caused Riku, and I can only hope that he's not hurting him again, wherever they are now.

But...I can try to forgive him for what he did to me, Riku aside. I feel like I can at least do that much.

[ideismo]

[He listens to all of that, quietly; he seems rather fixated on the candles again.]

Some people that I was close to were murdered. I had the option to show their killers mercy; instead, I decided that they deserved death for what they had done.

I didn't kill them. But the choice I made ensured that it caught up to them. I can't say my heart breaks.

[incompletely]

[ Tenn can't say he likes that, but he gets it.

He really does. He's sure he would have felt absolutely horrible afterwards, if he'd went through with what he wanted to do at Riku's trial, but in that moment -- ]

I get it. You probably remember when I almost attacked C-ta in Riku's trial. I didn't know I had that in me, but...

[ He bites down on his lower lip for a moment. The words he wants to say are hard to spit out, but he'll say them anyway. ]

I thought he deserved it, too. I'm glad I didn't go through with it, but in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to kill him with my own hands.

[ And he's glad he didn't. ]

[ideismo]

I can't see you living well with something like that on your conscience.

It isn't a shortcoming or a criticism. It just doesn't seem the sort of thing that would do well by you.

[The whole...killing thing.]

Some of us are well-suited for killing others, for better or worse. There's usually something that's been broken, with regards to people like that; it's rare that you find someone that's both suited to it and more or less intact. I don't think you're broken enough for that yet.

[incompletely]

...Well. It's like you said to me before, right? Something about not recommending that I get used to this sort of thing.

[ He shakes his head. ]

I don't think I'm there, either, and I don't want to be there at any point. Every week feels worse, somehow. Maybe that's a good thing.

[ideismo]

I think it is. This isn't the sort of thing anyone truly wants to be accustomed to.

[...]

I appreciate you joining me here. I'll likely try to keep these lit while I can.

[incompletely]

Thanks. I appreciate that you did this, really.

[ He looks back at the candles, just before he turns to face Alexei directly; a half-turn before he heads back out. ]

I'm always interested in hearing what you have to say, Alexei-san. If you ever want to discuss anything in the future, feel free to let me know.

[ideismo]

[Oh, that's... Huh.]

...Likewise, if you ever want to talk about anything. I certainly don't mind.

[incompletely]

I'll remember that.

[ A nod in his direction, before he starts making his way towards the exit. ]

I'll see you later, then. Bye-bye.