Afterparty IV: The Isle of Repeaching Mistakes

[heroicact]

[Another week, and another series of disasters and deceptions leading to the verdict; this time the web is wider and deeper and darker, as they're all slowly ensnared, as the fine points each of them make up in this cloud of connections is pulled ever tighter. Is it a noose, tightening around their neck, or is it a string wrapped around their finger to pull them forward?

Here on Onigashima under cover of night, no one can perhaps tell, and ever fewer people are asking.

For the first time in a little while Jack's throwing himself wholeheartedly into gathering people -- he's not forcing anyone to be there, but he drops words and written directions and cajoles at the tree slide if he must, mostly to make sure the little get-together is actually staffed. The island itself is a chore to get to, but may be the lake around it can provide respite for those who enjoy the boats and can ignore the possible body (bodies?) floating down there.

Festival food and regular drink is a-plentiful, though so much of it is still so foreign to many of them (Jack is pretty sure most of it is good, but); it'll do, because they've also brought like half the bar with them? Or at least enough to supply the guests and their two bartenders. Marcus and Makoto are here to provide drink and drink with you, whichever comes first, and honestly who can blame them?

Otherwise, there are always the festival games and fashion, so perhaps that too is a good distraction. Just don't fall in the lake, y'all.]

Comments

[biqe]

[ Phil follows him down to the shore, though he falls further and further behind as they go. Given how rough those stairs are, this might have been a bad idea if he actually has any intention of returning to the party tonight, but he can worry about that later.

Marcus has probably been there for about three minutes already by the time Phil arrives, still a little out of breath even though the trip was entirely downhill. He comes over to stand close beside him, his steps lighter than they have been for much of this week — though that's been the case pretty much any time he's been here on this island. ]

Aside from simply being an island, it hardly has anything in common with Odanse... but I still think of it every time I look at the docks out here.

[ He sighs, crossing his arms as a cool breeze blows. ]

I know this is rich coming from me, but you should really try to get some rest tonight.

[mirrite]

[He knows who it is approaching even before he catches sight of Phil-- though their connection may no longer be in effect here, he still knows those footsteps, the way Phil always gets somewhat out of breath with even the slightest amount of exertion, and so he's a little bit more relaxed than he was earlier when Phil finally makes it to his side. The smile he'll favor him with is small and tired, but real this time as opposed to the ones he's been putting on for the sake of everyone else all evening.]

I would hope it doesn't have much in common with Odanse, unless you were about to tell me that there were actually giant peaches floating around out in the ocean there too.

[It's instinctive, the urge to try to keep the mood light for Phil's sake, but... that isn't really needed here, is it? Not here, not now, when they're both feeling the same things.]

Didn't think I'd ever see the day where you nagged at me to get some sleep, though.

[biqe]

Neither did I, so that should tell you something, shouldn't it?

[ He shifts his weight to lean against Marcus a little, and rests his head on his shoulder, keeping his gaze fixed on some vague, distant point in the water. ]

I thought you'd be better off not having to deal with my feelings on top of everything else here.

[mirrite]

[A little more of that tension he's been holding inside himself ever since the morning evaporates when he feels Phil lean into him like that, and he slips an arm around his waist to just hold him close and take some comfort from the contact, leaning his own head down to rest against Phil's in return.]

Yeah, so did I, but this place has a way of giving us all plenty of emotions whether we want them or not. Good thing I'm already used to that, though.

But that still leaves the question of how you're holding up.

[Deflect, deflect, deflect... it's amazing how naturally that comes to him.]

[biqe]

[ He sees what he's doing... but he supposes that doesn't mean he can't answer first.

Obviously Marcus is going to see right through him if he says he's fine, so... he stops and thinks in silence for a long moment, trying to gather his thoughts in a way that's actually communicable. ]

I hadn't spoken much to Zola or C-ta, and my interactions with Lucifer were mostly limited to our play in the first week. I didn't like having to do this to any of them. But SQ and now William are the ones we've been forced to execute who I'd had more than a passing chat with, who I knew to at least some extent and liked. And like with her, his absence is going to leave a very noticeable void. I liked having someone with whom I could share ideas and work on projects. It was... fun, sort of.

[ He bites his lip. ]

...At the same time, I think I feel less bad about this than I did before. Because he didn't betray any of us, and because... I don't personally have a reason to feel guilty this time. So instead I feel guilty for that, because this is happening through no fault of his own, and it's terribly unfair, and it's disgustingly selfish of me to think this is better.

[ If it somehow isn't already apparent in his voice that he's fighting back tears by the end of this, it can be felt in how much he's tensing up and trying to take measured breaths.

He sniffs once, and wipes the corner of his eye, but... it's fine.

... ]

...Well. Anyway, I know you were deflecting.

[mirrite]

[... ah, there we go. He'd expected as much, but hearing Phil actually admit to all of this is strangely refreshing in a way given his usual proclivity for trying to keep things buried. Baby steps, he supposes, though he hates that it's taken a situation like this to force that much.]

You had a friend, and now you're losing him because we were all forced to make a decision none of us wanted to make unless we wanted another innocent person to die. It's not selfish to feel the way you do about that.

[And there's a distinct sense of sorrow that comes with the realization that Phil isn't even fully aware that that's what William was, in the end.

That arm pulls him a little closer to steady him, but he knows better than to comment on those shaky breaths or the way Phil's entire body has stiffened up against his.]

... and yeah, I'll cop to that much. Guess I'm not doing so hot either.

[Now it's his turn to sigh, his own posture slumping enough to be noticeable.]

But unlike you, I'm not as good at putting stuff like that into words. Pretty ironic, considering I'm your mirrite and all...

[biqe]

If that's true, it's only because I dwell on these things so much. You're actually out helping everyone while I'm uselessly thinking about how terrible I feel or how terrible I am for whatever else I might be feeling. The only good thing I've done for anyone here is drag you into this along with me.

[mirrite]

[This... is definitely not unexpected, and Marcus gives him a squeeze that's at once both a reassurance and a rebuke.]

What, so coming up with the plans for that catapult wasn't a "good thing"? Or all of the experiments you've done, the going into the mirror to investigate even at the potential risk to your own life? Don't sell yourself short, Phil. You've done a lot more than you realize.

[biqe]

I'm not sure if any of those actually got us any closer to putting an end to all of this, though. Maybe I really did just put Nageki through that for nothing.

...And now I'm just making this all about myself again when what I wanted was to help you.

[mirrite]

Phil.

[He lifts his other hand up to cup Phil's chin and tilt his face up to look him in the eye.]

You're helping me a lot just by being here, got it? I can't honestly say that I wouldn't have killed anyone by now if you weren't around.

[As much as he doesn't like to admit it, he remembers well how so much of his rationality had gone out the window during their prolonged separation back at home. Some of that could be blamed on Phantom, sure, but the rest? That was all him.]

[biqe]

[ Phil had never really learned the full extent of what had happened while he was out of the picture, so he's still not entirely convinced... but he nods, his face a little flushed from both that gesture and the near-tears. ]

...All right. The point about you needing rest still stands, though. So... let's not stay out here too late tonight.

[mirrite]

[He'll probably tell him the whole thing eventually, if only because Phil deserves to know what Marcus nearly did for (what he believed to be) Phil's sake... but that's a matter for another time and another place.]

Yeah. But you have to admit, the view isn't bad at all...

[... he's not looking at the lake as he says this, though. Not that he's going to give Phil the chance to comment on this fact, because in the next breath he leans down and just kisses him softly, his thumb stroking a gentle trail across Phil's cheek as he does so.]

[biqe]

Ah...

[ Suddenly Phil's face is burning much hotter, and he quickly checks to make sure there's no one else present within his field of vision who might be watching. Not because he's ashamed, but just... he still doesn't really feel like he knows what he's doing, and it's embarrassing. ]

I-I suppose.

[ He hesitates for just a second, but then leans in to return that kiss with another — a barely-there brush of lips, but it counts.

Pulling back, he gives a bit of a sheepish smile and exhales. ]

So, um... we can go back up for another hour or so, maybe, and then call it a night?

[mirrite]

[Were the mood not still somewhat on the somber side, Marcus probably would've teased him a bit about that shyness, thinking it had to do with someone potentially seeing them. He's certainly not embarrassed about any of this on his own end; still, in light of Phil almost bursting into tears a moment ago, he feels like it's not really a good time to poke at him too much, even in jest.]

Sure, but don't feel like you need to force yourself to stick around for my sake if you're tired. I can dump the rest of the bartending on Makoto if you'd rather go back now.

[He heard how out of breath you were by the time you got down here, Phil. He's not carrying you back up those stairs!]