AFTERPARTY III: Never Have I Ever Been Quite This Drunk

[mirrite]

[There's absolutely nothing celebratory about this drinking party. "Party" isn't even the right word, not really-- it's more like a "drink until you forget and/or black out" session for anyone who wants to participate, and even the bartender isn't immune from that much. Please forgive him if your drink isn't mixed quite right; he's trying his best under the circumstances.

There's food, too, if anyone wants to attempt to stave off a hangover tomorrow, or just get something in their stomach after the events of the day: stirfry from Makoto, vegetable soup from Nageki (mediocre, but hey, a genuine effort was made and that's what counts), and some tea for those who would rather abstain from the harder stuff. (Is that even many people tonight? Probably not.)

Come on by the bar if you're hungry or want a drink, or even if you just don't want to be alone right now. That much, at least, is something that can be guaranteed tonight.]

Comments

[gemuinemanagement]

You're too nice to be here

[And coming from Suga, that's saying something.]

[biqe]

...No, I'm really not. I probably have as much hatred as anyone; I just expend so much of it on myself that I'm not able to spare much for anyone else.

[gemuinemanagement]

[That's not good! Don't say things like that so easily!

Suga reaches over and lightly pulls at Phillip's cheeks. Stop That.]

[biqe]

[ Gently touching his hand with an apologetic half-smile— ]

I appreciate that you have so much faith in me. But frankly, I'd be surprised if there was anyone here who brought more suffering to their world than I did.

Marcus is the one who shouldn't be here. Anything he did to qualify himself for this in Hamelin's eyes he only did because of me in the first place.

[gemuinemanagement]

You didn't mean to
I've been told recently that that matters
When blaming yourself for things

[If he can't get away with it, neither should you.]

[biqe]

That does matter in most cases, but it's not— you don't know that was always the case with me. And when the damage you do is on a large enough scale, there's a point where intentions don't make much of a difference.

[gemuinemanagement]

[...]

I haven't hurt the whole world, just the people I care about
So I don't know exactly what it's like
But I know hating yourself doesn't help anyone else

[biqe]

...No. It can only help so far as being a driving factor that pushes you into action to make amends.

[gemuinemanagement]

But if you're already doing that
What's the use of piling on more guilt?

[biqe]

To make sure I keep doing it and don't run away again because things are hard.

And‐ and I know this isn't a use, and it isn't actually helping anything, but until everyone is free from the pain I helped to inflict on them, I shouldn't be without it either.

[gemuinemanagement]

I'm starting to realize why Marcus is so good at talking to me

[the reflection of the self in the other (derogatory)]

[biqe]

He does have twenty years of experience with that type, after all.

[ Oh, he's been aware of the similarities between the two of them ever since he saw Suga's profile. ]

[gemuinemanagement]

Well
I promised Marcus that I'd look out for you
So you're just going to have to deal with that

[Fuss, worry, etc.]

[biqe]

...Thank you. I'll try to look out for you too, as best I can.

[gemuinemanagement]

It's a deal

[And maybe it'll go better than the other alliance he made here?]