Marcus Grimm (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mirrite) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
onceuponacomm2021-06-19 08:36 pm
mirrite) wrote in onceuponacomm2021-06-19 08:36 pm
AFTERPARTY III: Never Have I Ever Been Quite This Drunk
[There's absolutely nothing celebratory about this drinking party. "Party" isn't even the right word, not really-- it's more like a "drink until you forget and/or black out" session for anyone who wants to participate, and even the bartender isn't immune from that much. Please forgive him if your drink isn't mixed quite right; he's trying his best under the circumstances.
There's food, too, if anyone wants to attempt to stave off a hangover tomorrow, or just get something in their stomach after the events of the day: stirfry from Makoto, vegetable soup from Nageki (mediocre, but hey, a genuine effort was made and that's what counts), and some tea for those who would rather abstain from the harder stuff. (Is that even many people tonight? Probably not.)
Come on by the bar if you're hungry or want a drink, or even if you just don't want to be alone right now. That much, at least, is something that can be guaranteed tonight.]
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Yor... he liked her, didn't fully expect it, but was far less blindsided than Tenn. In the end, he's not quite sure what to say this time. Grief was child's play to the number of times he'd been betrayed, his tally of failures. And that, he wasn't nearly as close to conquering.
It's a while before he speaks, coffee a great distraction until he isn't even really tasting it anymore. He sounds... defeated more than anything. ]
If you're not up for talking... that's okay. But, I'm here.
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Trying to hate people, trying to keep his guard again up in spite of it having been let down so many times here. Trying to remind himself that nobody here can be trusted -- nobody except Riku.
But... Tenn, at his core, has a soft heart. He's selfless to a fault; he's like Suga in that sense. And right now, he kind of hates it. He's quiet for a while, working through these thoughts in his head before he finally says: ]
...I don't know what to do anymore.
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He still wishes he had a better answer. ]
The truth is... sometimes there is no way to know what to do.
[ He can't help looking over at him, expression having a hard time staying neutral. ]
I'll be honest, I know how this feels-- wanting to shove everyone away, maybe you feel dumb for letting yourself trust someone. But I promise you that you aren't. People... have their own views of the world, their own goals, even if they genuinely care about you. That... doesn't make it right, but it doesn't make you wrong either.
... I'll see you as my friend, whether you still consider me one or not.
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And Tenn, being the softie he is, really can't close himself off to the people here who haven't done anything wrong. There's still a part of him that cares about C-ta, too, for god's sake -- he's just that kind of person. And when Makoto is saying things like this to him so earnestly, he finds that it's difficult to try and fight him. ]
...You still see me as your friend, even after all of that?
[ After that reveal about Yor, anyway. ]
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[ Makoto says it too fast, as if Tenn will take it back if he doesn't answer right away. There isn't anyone in his life in any world that he trusts completely. But, he does trust Tenn with friendship. Makoto takes a deep breath after. What is he even doing thinking about telling Tenn any of this? Mostly because part of him doesn't know how long he even has here anymore, the trial proved that. He doesn't want to go out the same way he came in -- alone.
He exhales slowly, easing the feeling in the pit of his stomach. ]
I'll be honest. I've had a lot people lie to me before this place. [ A pause, expression tightening. ] For my own good or for theirs, they were still lies.
So. Friendship means something.
[ Makoto stops, looking into his coffee. He can't quite find the next words Usually so readily there for him, uncertainty swallows them whole instead. ]
how did i miss this omg
[ He feels like he's in Makoto's shoes, now, when he says that about himself. When he says that people have lied to him -- how much it must have hurt. As if Tenn himself hasn't lied a day in his life, but that's neither here nor there in this world.
He can't help but tear up a little, when Makoto tells him that friendship means something. As angry as Tenn was after learning about Yor, as much as he told himself not to trust a damn person in this world, he knew deep down that it was impossible to do any of that. Especially when faced with one of the people he trusts the most here. ]
Sorry.
[ He's embarrassed that he's crying a little, so he quickly wipes at his eyes. ]
When you told me, at the trial, that you would support me...even when I was wrong about Moriarty-san -- it's hard to not want to be friends with someone like that. So...if I can give you something that meaningful, something like friendship...then I won't let go of it, either.
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[ Makoto blinks over at him, but there's no judgment there when he sees the tears. His coffee gets forgotten on the table as Makoto turns more fully to him. If only Makoto was a hugger, but he is not. Would Tenn like a hand on his shoulder again, a squeeze? ]
Hey, it's okay to cry. [ But then, he laughs. It's a short burst of self-deprecation as his own tears well up. He's able to blink them away, but his eyes remain glassy. ] I really appreciate that.
And... At the trial, I was trying to do the right thing. But it's hard to tell what that is sometimes. [ A sigh. ] I was just so sure it wasn't him, all of the pieces felt so wrong and he's worked so hard on solving things. But I also couldn't blame you, either.
... I wonder if he'll be okay?
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You were right about that. He really did work hard to make sure we got the right person, but everything...everything just pointed to him. There were some things I didn't say, too, that made me think it might've been him.
[ As for Makoto's question about Moriarty, well. Tenn doesn't have an answer to that. ]
This is all part of the game, though. Hamelin's really trying to tear all of us apart.
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Really? What things? [ The conversation shifts, has Makoto subtly glancing around. ] Unless you'd rather tell me later?
It is. [ He nods. He knows Tenn is right. Hamelin or not, this is part of the game. It's his exact concern in worrying. If Tenn remembers the calmer, more serious demeanor from Makoto that was more common before this week --that's what washes over him now when he sits up a little straighter. ]
But I'm not going to play it, if I can help it. Not the way he wants us to.
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[ Just. Everything was pointing way too much to Moriarty. Seems like there might be a little more to it, but...it's not something Tenn's going to continue talking about, in any case.
It's better to focus on the real threat, anyway. ]
Good. I don't want to, either.
[ As tempting as it is to shut people out, as much as he still wants to do that -- nah. ]
Let's keep chatting, then. ... It's hard, to keep putting myself out there after everything. But I don't want to cut you off, Edamura-san. You don't deserve that.
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[ Makoto wants to tell him that Wei Wuxian liked spicy foods, that the simplest explanation is usually the answer. But he doesn't, where's the point in that now? The trial's over. And even if it hadn't been on his profile, the cinnamon hearts were just more evidence that was too broad and unreliable.
Tenn means those words in the moment, Makoto's pretty sure of it. But he knows there's no guaranteeing either of them will have the final say. ]
That's the spirit. And... thank you.
[ A glance down to Tenn's food. ] Oh, hey. How do you like it, by the way?
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He's happier to talk about the food, though. Admittedly it looks like he hasn't eaten a lot, but it's not the stir fry in particular. His soup and tea look nearly untouched, too. ]
The stir fry is yours, right? It's really good. ... I didn't eat much yet, but I like it.
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Yes. [ Makoto nods. ]
I'm still trying to work around the salt issue, so I'm just glad you like it. I think I finally got it with this one.
[ Another sip of his coffee and his gaze wanders to the soup that neither of them have apparently tried. It doesn't look bad. Curious, Makoto gestures to it.
With a smile-- ] Looks like Fujishiro-san's gotten better too.
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[ He's not talking metaphorically, either. ]
It's in my room. ... Got it from Yor's, actually.
[ No more Yor-san. It's just Yor, now. He sounds bitter when he says it, but at least they have some salt to work with...
At the mention of Nageki, though, Tenn's spirits seem to lift a little. ]
He made this, did he? Well. I owe it to him to try it, then. [ So he'll try a spoonful of that soup -- ] ...Not bad.
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... But why don't we try to make some good out of it? Is there enough to make a good dinner or something for everyone?
[ Makoto watches him try it intently. He's more than a little curious, might try it later when his stomach doesnt feel so heavy. ] Has he gotten better?
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[ He nods, when he asks about Nageki. ]
Yeah. I think he has.
[ And knowing that gives him pride. He's proud of you, bird friend...and also very worried. ]
Are you acquainted with Nageki at all?
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[ Makoto shakes his head at himself before sipping at his coffee. ]
We've talked a few times. I even took his book recommendations.
[ Makoto can't help the fondness there. Should he say kid or bird? Makoto isn't actually sure. ]
He's a good bird. Smart, too.
rip nageki
[ He drinks more of the soup. ]
It'd probably taste better with that salt, too. Remind me to give it to him later, when he's feeling better. ... I think he's been having a rough time.
s-sob
[ Makoto tilts his head at that, frowning. ]
It's not like I can really blame him, but it's good that he's finding things to keep him busy at least. Maybe next time his soup will taste even better.