AFTERPARTY III: Never Have I Ever Been Quite This Drunk

[mirrite]

[There's absolutely nothing celebratory about this drinking party. "Party" isn't even the right word, not really-- it's more like a "drink until you forget and/or black out" session for anyone who wants to participate, and even the bartender isn't immune from that much. Please forgive him if your drink isn't mixed quite right; he's trying his best under the circumstances.

There's food, too, if anyone wants to attempt to stave off a hangover tomorrow, or just get something in their stomach after the events of the day: stirfry from Makoto, vegetable soup from Nageki (mediocre, but hey, a genuine effort was made and that's what counts), and some tea for those who would rather abstain from the harder stuff. (Is that even many people tonight? Probably not.)

Come on by the bar if you're hungry or want a drink, or even if you just don't want to be alone right now. That much, at least, is something that can be guaranteed tonight.]

Comments

[hellochildren]

Exactly, sank you!

[Another sip of the wine.]

Dat-Zat sort sting-sing I expected from ozers! Moriarty or Yeager-or, Hölle, even Reston if he managed to be competent for five minutes! Ant she tied-tried to play dumb to avoid suspicion!

Not only dit zat work, but it even worked on me-me, of all people...

[mutter mutter German noises mutter]

[goldencave]

[ Norton goes silent again, mulling over the parrot's ramblings. Was she really playing dumb, or...?

Well. It's obvious he won't be able to get anything from her now, so his thoughts wander to other topics... Like that parrot, maybe. ]

"You, of all people?" What do you mean by that? Are you some kind of... Super smart parrot or something?

[hellochildren]

[A sigh.]

I am azooming-assuming you dit not hear of my robots, den-then?

To put is as simply as pozzible-possible, yes, I am 'some kind of super smart parrot.'

[Using his wings to do the air quotes.]

And dezpide-despite zat, I vas fooled by her. Humiliated by her, having not even sought of her as a zuspect-suspect.

[And yeah, he is bitter.]

[goldencave]

[ Hang on. ]

Wait, no. I didn't hear about any robots.

[ What even are those? ]

[hellochildren]

[To himself] I sought I discushed-discussed zis more openly... [Louder] no matter.

I have a large suppie-supply of robots under my command, originally craded-created by a former colleague, but maintained and continvually-continually mate by myself.

And before you asg-ask, robots are similar to automatons, but more advanzed-advanced.

[goldencave]

[ Thanks for explaining the robots, but that doesn't explain... ]

Why do you have so many robots?

[hellochildren]

Ze same reason you haunt-vant half ze treazure-treasure I've promised you raser zan being contend-content wis all you can pilfer from Ze Piver-Piper.

[Unless Norton's reason isn't 'Just to have a lot of them']

[goldencave]

Why are you haunting the treasure with robots?!

[ Sorry, but this motive is starting to get silly. Either that, or the heavy accent made Norton misunderstand. ]

1/2

[hellochildren]

[Congrats Norton, you surprised a drunk bird enough to get him to jump and fall on his butt.]

2/2

[hellochildren]

Nein, du depp.

I meant I just vant to haf-have a lot of robots. Both becauds-because I want to condin-continue my college's vork ant to have assistance vith vartious-various sings.

[Since, you know, small bird.]

I vas tryhink-trying to compare my motv-motivation to your own, as I zought-thought you desired treasure just to have it.

[goldencave]

Oh. Nah. You got it wrong.

[ Should he just... Fuck it, he may as well. ]

I don't need treasure just to have it sitting around somewhere, I need it for my finances. They don't pay folks like me enough to enjoy a decent lifestyle, you know? I bet if I was able to cash in all the gold and jewels I've found so far, I probably could afford to get out of the mining industry and go into something more profitable.

[ Twenty years of scrounging around in the dark, and all he ever got from his various employers was hardly a living wage. ]

Maybe I'd even have a decent amount of cash in a savings account thanks to the treasure you promised me.

[hellochildren]

Ah.

So zat is fhat-vhat your wish is, zen? To have enough money to be finanan-faninch-financially secure for the rest of your life?

[What? A drunk bird can't help but be curious. He's not one to judge. Plus, at least he lowered his voice so no one else would be hearing it. Does that make a difference? In his current state of mind, yes.]

[goldencave]

[ ... He silently nods. ]

[hellochildren]

[The parrot nods, has to take a few steps to prevent the momentum from putting him on his butt, and speaks back at his normal volume again.]

Fell-vell, so long as no one begums-becomes too eager to leave, zat shoot-should be solved by now, shoult it not? Vith Ze Piper's tresir-treasure as vell as what I promise you, you shoult be set for kite-qvite a long time, if not for life.