[ For the whole time Huaisang speaks, McGillis just stares at him, searching for something within his expression that is righteous rejection and it doesn't come. Huaisang's hands are soft and warm and so much smaller than his own... and still, Huaisang is holding on to him, regardless of the facts.
You're such a fool, McGillis thinks, but then... maybe the fool is himself, who has gone out of his way this whole game to not hurt Huaisang even if there was nothing to gain.
He'll reward honesty with complete honesty here, because it's late at night, because he's drunk, because there's nothing to lose. ]
... friendship or love mean little to me. I don't hold any softness in my heart. I've never had that luxury.
I've started my life lower than you might imagine and I've done worse than what you've seen here. I am a stubborn, solitary man, and the only emotion I truly know is anger.
I've wished you were a little more ruthless, a little more hateful, a little more like me....
[ He trails off for a moment because he truly should have learned his lesson at home already, should have understood that he will only ever be able to be alone... but this place, this stupid game, he didn't have to be lonely here. Jack and Hamelin, people he didn't have to hide with, for the first time... and Huaisang, who McGillis wishes were a worse person, just so he could do the same with him and still enjoy that hard fought for kindness. Pipe dreams, all of that. ]
... I'm willing to give you all that you want to take from me until this is over. If you want it, even knowing the truth of myself, come and claim it. For the climax of the story, for as long as the story lasts.
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You're such a fool, McGillis thinks, but then... maybe the fool is himself, who has gone out of his way this whole game to not hurt Huaisang even if there was nothing to gain.
He'll reward honesty with complete honesty here, because it's late at night, because he's drunk, because there's nothing to lose. ]
... friendship or love mean little to me. I don't hold any softness in my heart. I've never had that luxury.
I've started my life lower than you might imagine and I've done worse than what you've seen here. I am a stubborn, solitary man, and the only emotion I truly know is anger.
I've wished you were a little more ruthless, a little more hateful, a little more like me....
[ He trails off for a moment because he truly should have learned his lesson at home already, should have understood that he will only ever be able to be alone... but this place, this stupid game, he didn't have to be lonely here. Jack and Hamelin, people he didn't have to hide with, for the first time... and Huaisang, who McGillis wishes were a worse person, just so he could do the same with him and still enjoy that hard fought for kindness. Pipe dreams, all of that. ]
... I'm willing to give you all that you want to take from me until this is over. If you want it, even knowing the truth of myself, come and claim it. For the climax of the story, for as long as the story lasts.